Once more caught in the treadmill

The first evening of my holidays
The first evening of my holidays – directly after work Asaka and I went grocery shopping to spend the whole evening at the river Rhine.

So this is how its drawing to a close... The time of leisure – an era of inspiration is over. Days of rhapsodizing and dreaming, nights of poetry and art, all gone, swept away by oncoming rains of fall.


...*coughs* Alright, I‘m being a bit melodramatic here. Please forgive me, but I am a little sad indeed, after all the holidays have been oh so brief for me.

Usually I was supposed to have a summer break of six weeks, but due to my internship only two of these six weeks were left. And though short, I tried to make the best of this small time. I spent a lot of it together with Asaka, doing this or that. We travelled and laughed a lot, and I finally managed to draw to my heart’s content again. I’m not only talking about starting works in progress that eventually collect dust in their folders, but also about actually finishing some paintings.

I thought my drawing style was stagnating for a while, but soon, especially as I made a remake of a picture from two years ago, that I had actually improved.
It’s funny actually – I merely wanted to try out an idea I had, a new way of coloring, but at some point I noticed, that this was simply an evolved way of my old style.

Though I had tried before to stop creating a lineart and to color directly over my sketch (because I’m convinced that rough sketches have the most potential, after all the very essence of an idea is caught in just that sketch), I had done this slightly differently. While before I ended up hiding and deleting the sketch layer at some point, I now left it there and made it “blend” with the colors, so it eventually disappeared on its own, but still was there, in a way (man, that’s not easy to explain *laughs*). Also I worked on less layers now, so it was a bit as though I’m working with oil on canvas.

Anyway, enough of theoretic talk. *laughs*
So yeah, tomorrow school will start again, but I’ve been there today already. Not in some lessons, but because it was Asaka’s first day there, after all she’ll be going to the same school as I am from now on. It’s great if you ask me, because that way we’ll see each other every day :3
That’s the only thing I look forward for though, because there’s so much more things that worry me about school.

I know I easily get caught up in patterns of routine, which eventually lead to it that I feel empty and weary... And because of this, it’s getting hard to draw and write at all. Every day life is the same as a artist’s and writer’s blog to me at times. It’s partly because my most creative time is at night – just take a look at my holidays, if I drew, it was usually between 9 pm and 5 am. During the school days however I need to get up at 5 am, so it’s impossible for me to spend the nights being creative. Oh and the weekend? Not a real comfort either... Usually the week’s monotony burdens me so much that I feel absolutely tired on Fridays, thus, go to bed early. On Saturdays I’m feeling at the end of my ropes and need to recover from the stress and on Sundays I’m already worrying and dreading the upcoming Monday. Yeah, great weekend, huh?

I can only hope that some kind of miracle happens and I will be spared of this gloom... I enjoyed to feel inspired and full of life again – I can’t even remember when I last felt like this, because the whole last year has been very difficult for me... I don’t want to lose this feeling again.

But wonders will never cease, right? And there is always a light at the end of the tunnel – even if it’s the very last tunnel of life... Uhm XD; sorry, I’m being cynical there. But hey, what do you expect? I tend to say I’m a pessimist with degrees (or as I say in German “ein Diplompessimist”), so you can’t really think I’d be going to say something entirely positive *laughs*
Anyway! See you at my next article!


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