I've been meaning to talk to you, to tell you in person how I feel, but I'll be honest: I've been too afraid, too hurt. Thus I hope you see this and will get my meaning.
See... What I need to tell you is that times change. This is an inevitable fact no one can deny, and I'm sure you'll agree when I tell you that within the span of this time, people change as well.
Its a simple rule time teaches every human being - nothing lasts forever.
You know I've been there, you know what happened to me the past few years, you know what I've gone through and what I lost. I've come to realize that there comes a day when even the largest, most
sturdy tree falls and one day even an ocean dries out. A person may try desperately to cling to what they hold dear, but the harder you try and the more you refuse to let go, the sooner it slips
through your fingers and will be forever lost. I know and learned that not even tears can bring back what once was, nor can they make things undone or words unsaid. It's simply impossible to turn
Or let me pick an entirely different example:
Imagine a city - and now picture a house, a single building amongst many. Do you see it in your mind? Good.
It may be brand new, gleaming in the faint winter sun or it may as well be old and withered, covered allover in twines of wild ivy, it makes no difference. As time passes, there will be cracks in
the walls and the windows will break. The owners will try to fix it, multiple times perhaps, over and over they're trying to restore its old splendor, but at some point they have to realize that
it's all in vain - the once comfortable home has turned to naught but a ruin.
Now there's only so much they can do, once it's become futile to fix it. They have to make a choice, either to accept it and keep living in this ruin, till the day it breaks entirely or tear the house down and build something new.
Do you understand, or am I being too cryptic?
I remember you've always said I was the one of us who was good with words and who used too many metaphors. But let me make it simple for you - what if the house in this picture was our
friendship? Think about it. And think about the past months - about the silence that wrecked the house like a storm. And now tell me, what kind of building do you imagine?
I know I'm seeing a ruin in my mind - and now that times change, I find myself wondering, how would I decide, if I was to make the very choice about this ruin of mine?
The honest answer is that I don't know. I don't know where to go from here, I find myself at a loss.
But I know I can't keep going like this, shrouded in suffocating silence. Still, I deliberately chose not to be the first to utter a word.
Not again, no.
Very much like the one who kept fixing the ill-fated building, it's been me who always kept making the first step when silence ensued and I told you that I can't keep going like this. Now here I am, waiting and wondering what you might be doing, or if you're even thinking of me at all. But time passes and all that remains is silence. Days go by, without a word, leaving more and more cracks behind in the walls.
I know, if this keeps going, the ruin will collapse.
But who knows... Maybe you think I am the villain of this story, because I don't write you anymore? I don't know. I only can tell you truthfully, I've been here, all along. I've been waiting for a sign, for you to reach out - but I've been waiting in vain.
And now, as I stand here, I feel how the earth shakes and I watch the walls tumble down. There's a deafening noise in the air, as well as trails of dust that casts some tears into my eyes - but I doubt you hear it, nor do you see it, for you cloak yourself in silence.
In any case, this is all I wished to tell you. Perhaps you won't even see this, or maybe you won't understand what I was trying to say, but I could no longer remain silent as I have been the past few months.